a few things heard in my room tonight:
"my clit is fucking huge"
"at least he didn't molest you"
"gosh darnit, why didn't he?!?"
"this is what happens when you like freshmen boys"
"i'm not sure the person on the bottom could handle three of us"
"L, you're like a playground- i just want to roll around with you"
"you give me the giggles"
"my stripper name should be giggles"

i thought i was unconfused after last night, but now im not sure again. why, you might be asking; well, yea. i often wonder about the impact of the future on the present, mostly in the sense of how thinking about what you want for the future or about what's uncertain in the future affects decisions made in the present, or emotions felt, and maybe for the worse. how do you know what's right? how do you know when to stick with something that you think is destined to fail, because it might, just might, not? how do you stop yourself from constantly comparing the past to the present, and thinking that since the past was so good the future and present might as well be foregone, foresaken. humph. off to rent a movie now and think about what i'd really rather be doing.