With a lack of a better way to start this post (know when your mind gets cluttered with too many things and you just don't know where to start?), I'm going to do this thing that I was "tagged" to do by Baucs; this marks my first ever filled out survey internet thing. Momentous.

10 Years Ago: This puts me at twenty-one days past twelve, back when "teenager" still seemed so far away and 16 was an eternity that would never come. I was in 7th grade at the home of the eagles, McNicol Middle School; what jumps to mind instantly is that Mrs. Voss was my science teacher, I chased Hanson around the cafeteria patio area (and him with that bowl hair cut - whatwasithinking), and my science fair project (which won 3rd place at the State Science Fair in Engineering, woot woot) examined the effect of material and surface roughness on the growth of marine fouling organisms (like barnacles and algae). If the last sentence didn't already give away my secret, I was a glasses-wearing Dork with no fashion sense (though some would argue that that hasn't really changed), no chest, and toted a lunch box with me to school (that the mean kids would occassionally hang from the top of the -- what's that game with the ball hanging on a string from a pole, 2 people hit it back and forth until it's wound around the pole?? -- pole and laugh at me for being undeveloped. I loved middle school.) Enough of those memories...

5 Years Ago: Ahh, five years ago was a much better time. I was in the 3rd month of my senior year in high school, I had a car with a parking spot on campus, I was surrounded by amazing friends (word to your mothers, H & D), and I was part of the sci & eng magnet program's golden children (oh, and I had filled out by now). I was riding high and feeling good about my college applications (how grounding it was to go to Tech and meet lots of other people who vastly outmatched me at everything - academics, effort, modesty, you name it); even if things didn't always make sense at home, at least I was distracted by 10 million other things in my life. Though I figure this is the way it is for mostly everyone, my senior year marked a definitive end to a significant portion of my life as I knew it up to then. I could feel how differently life was about to go, but I tried to stay focused on what had become my personal mantra for surviving: stay in the present, do everything with no regrets, and don't dwell on the past unless you're actively learning from it.

Granted, university changes things for everyone; my experience allowed me to learn why I had to crumble the stones I had built up around my heart in order to ever know what it feels like to have a friend truely care, or what it's like to hurt so much you want to die, or what it's like to have unbounding joy that you're afraid of because you don't want to know what it's going to feel like when the joy ends. I know, I'm drifting into 4 years ago, 3 years ago, but I've been so wholey shaped as a person by key events that I could count on my hands that have all happened in the past four years - I was always an inquisitive girl and a passionate (and overdramatic) writer (and probably still have a flair for the dramatic here), but I didn't know what it was like to let yourself down -- and only yourself -- to feel like you had lost who you were, to know what disappointment was until the first two years of college. And I'm so grateful for those days-worth of tears because now I understand the importance of not burying things, of letting my friends care about me, and of investing in someone else even if it's going to kill you inside at some point. But I digress...

One Year Ago: The beginning of my senior year at GT, my confusing and complicated and amazing and wonderful senior year. I was completely ready to graduate and move on with my life. I had learned all that I thought I needed to, I had grown as a person as much as I thought I could from one environment, and I needed new challenges. I finally felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, that I had earned my own respect and was finally seeing through fruition the goals I had set for myself for the past fifteen years. I had the most amazing birthday ever (thanks to my friends - I love you guys! :)) and right around now, one year ago, I was interviewing for jobs, taking the GRE, and deciding which of the many open paths I wanted to venture down. It's funny that no specific events jump to mind (except my birthday party - keg stands wha what?!), just a general sense of my emotions and mental state. I guess I have always been a little obsessed with "thinking and feeling" crap and not so much the activities that make me think and feel.

Yesterday: I reflected on how happy I am with my current situation (in the grand scheme of things, neglecting the fact that New Orleans is a huge toxic stew and I'm far away from new friends) while talking to one of my absolute favorite people (I <3 KAB! :)) on the phone. I spent the weekend in Baton Rouge -- Saturday night LSU game, all-you-can eat brunch at a sports bar while watching FOUR HOURS of Sunday football, some tennis and laying out in the sun, more football watching, grilling out, and driving back to New Orleans to sleep.

Five Snacks I Enjoy:
chocolate, grapes, chocolate, pretzel and cheddar goldfish, chocolate pudding, and chewy fudge ice cream with marshmellow goop topping from Jaxson's

Five Songs I Know All the Words To:
Our Lady Peace, "Clumsy"
Maroon 5, "Sunday Morning" (if you didn't know, that's the song Mr. Bloggy's title comes from; the subtitle thingy -- thisisthestory blah blah -- if from a Nine Days song from back in the day)
John Mayer, "Your Body is a Wonderland" and "My Stupid Mouth"
Counting Crows, "Anna Begins" (really, most of the songs on August & Everything After, give or take a few a articles here and there)
"You're a Grand Ol' Flag" ha - it's true
I also really like to screech Dashboard Confessional at the top of my lungs in my car, by myself or with H & D, but I kind of make up the words sometimes because even if I knew the words, I wouldn't be able to make them sound like the words you hear

Five Things I'd Do With a million dollars:
I hate this one. I don't want a million dollars, or the social responsibility that comes with it, because one measly million dollars won't even make a dent in alleviating world hunger or violence or rape or prejudice or cures for AIDS or cancer, so what do you do with it? How could I ever pick which cause most deserved some small token of support, when I don't feel like the money would make any difference in the long run. Ugh, this question makes me really frustrated because with my defeatist attitude, why should anyone ever do anything to try to make things better for someone else or for the environment if it won't ever change things on a broader scale? But I still think it's worthwhile to try, I guess. Right? I guess you have to try to have hope - or do you have to have hope to try?

Ok, I know what I'd do with the million - I'd find the most compassionate, burdened person in the world and give THEM the money, trusting that they'd do a better job of doleing it out than I could.

5 things I'd never wear:
1. a popped collar. do you really think protecting your neck from a strong draft looks good? do you? because really, it looks like you're trying to go for a mysterious, bad-boy look but falling short and just end up looking like a lopsided, dopey, unfinished goof who follows five minute fashion trends in the hopes that your outside appearance will speak louder (and more effectively) for your personality (or who you purport to be) than your conversational abilities and actual self will. rant!
2. elastic-band jeans. eeewww.
3. two pairs of squishy-down socks at the same time, layered, each one a seperate revolting shade of neon. (I repent for my past sins...I was six and you know you did it, too!)
4. my hair poofed up in the front like a duck's bill (you know, like fake bangs pulled back in a pin and then teased to make a hemisphere of bad stringy hair over the center of your forehead, like that girl on this season of the Real World)
5. huge furry, tassled boots from the Netherlands with little fur-ball things hanging down the sides in magenta

5 bad habits:
overthinking every. stupid. thing.
cutting people off when they're talking.
not paying attention when people are talking, and being lost in my own mental fantasy land instead.
being late. just enough for it to be annoying to other people, but not enough for me to ever get myself in trouble for it.
not calling my friends enough. (or calling them back in a timely fashion)

5 favorite toys:
my power tools set (that's right I installed all the hardware in my bathroom and hung all my pictures on the wall) If I had my own cad/cam mill and lathe, they'd be my favorites too. I'm excited by torque. (pause) hahahahahaha
the internet. does that count?
board games with friends
digital cameras - especially my video of Biffsters and I doing our special dance in the hallway of the apartment last year after Mock Rock. hahaha, or the pictures Emily's took of us all looking oh so *special* *sigh* for a moment of bittersweet memories :)

That was fun. Now I'm going to pass responsibility of filling this out to Jen Lee, Jonathan, and Emily (who never ever ever posts ever. boo.)