I was so excited to have the time to finally sit down and write, to expunge my brain. And this is how it always happens: I build up excitement, I open up the laptop (as if it's a gaping mouth waiting to be fed), open blogger, and . And. That's all. I just have this comfortable, ahhhh for a few moments, to think of the words that lie in front of me, waiting for me to grab them and put them in the "new post" window. That's all. Kind of like sex, no? Hmm...I don't know.

I was reading Kristy's blog today (haha and since we have a rule that we never make it known to the other that we read each other's journals, she won't ever bring it up to me that I mentioned her....KAB: at least I didn't link you. haha) and I feel like all my good feelings about her as one of my best friends at Tech are just reaffirmed when I read it; I also feel like I'm meeting a whole new side to her, one that's a good and thoughtful writer. I'm impressed with my friend Kristy, because I always thought she was thoughtful, but it's a completely different talent to be able to express those thoughts adequately. And Kristy, if you are reading this, know that I love you and you mean the world to me. Even if you're ok when friendships aren't like that, I want you to know how much I value you for everything you are to me and to everyone you know.

I need to get away from this Dear Blank thing in my journal. Maybe next week.

Alpacas For Free: yes of course , cuz i just saw your name and was like "Yay! little jen!"
Alpacas For Free: but im not in the mood to type
Alpacas For Free: haha
Alpacas For Free: so i IMd you when i probably shouldnt have.. u ever do that?

Anyway, I got to watch some of my favorite thought-provoking shows tonight, including Everwood. The show was about "the first time," ehem ehem if you know what I mean, and got me thinking about, well, what else? Love and all that jazz. And what it (is supposed to) means.

I get scared really easily (perhaps I could be labeled a commitmentaphobe, but too lazy and introspective to act on my fears), and find myself eager to retreat into the caverns of my mind as soon as life gets busy, stressful, and distracting. This then makes me question all my thoughts on everything; eventually, I drive myself crazy and convince myself that I could do without... and now, two weeks later, I'm consumed, captivated, and relaxed.

I don't want life to be a series of posts aimed for and attained.

Since when did you become

well, life is calling.

goodnight world.