Additional thoughts to my previous post: it surprises me how my personal values and success markers have changed in the past year, too. I'd like to believe I've always placed high importance on family, friends, smiles, enjoying the moment, the environment, making someone else's day better, helping to make the people around me just a little more comfortable and happy; but, can we claim to have a certain value set unless we're actively pursuing the fulfillment of those values? Can I really, honestly say I have a passion for helping other people when I haven't honestly thought about the things that used to drive me to tears of frustrated helplessness - genocide in Sudan, the destruction of the rainforest?

Granted, we each tritely "make a difference" in our own small ways - I smile and laugh with everyone and anyone, strive to be a good friend and listener, and call my parents more often. When's the last time I thought about being a zookeeper? When's the last time I thought about giving up everything I have to go to Africa with the peace corp or a mission trip? Maybe I'm finally happy and satisfied with the current status of my life, and that's why I'm not driven to dream about other paths my life could take, but I'd like to think those things are still important to me. I don't want to ever be afraid to jump to do something I care about because life is easier standing still. I'm less afraid of stagnating or falling ill to complacency now than a year ago, but I still think we're always susceptible to the apathy of a familiar life.

I have to remind myself that I'm happy, so happy, with what I'm doing right now, and genuinly feel like I'm making my own little difference in small ways (like adding more cheer and hapiness to the regularity of offshore life; I bet Tommers is doing this too at his platform :)), and I want to get this dream out of my system before I starting thinking about fulfilling my next dream. Because I will. I will get around to all the things I've always dreamed of doing.

Dreams are kind of inherently selfish, since you really only follow the ones that are uniquely your own, that tug on your heart and drive you to take action. Accepting that is tough, that following your dreams and helping others can be personally fulfulling and joyful and doesn't have to be grudging or tedious. I also have to accept that a changing dream doesn't mean you're a bad person for not beleiving in the same things you used to, or that you're abandoning your principles.

Anyway, back to living my current dreams...riding my bike :)