I am a woman. Nature makes me so, and it feels good to be reminded. It's empowering to feel the physics of what makes me.

Do you feel an exaggerated happiness like I do when I think about the next time we're going to hang out? I get excited, all big-smiled, when my mind hurriedly jumps from one memory we'll make to the next, envisioning the location, the timing, the old jokes we'll pull out to tease each other, the history-laden songs we'll put on in the car to reminisce. We'll rehash old stories, share new ones, and talk about how this time it won't be so long in between our conversations. It always feels like there was never a break, but when you leave it seems like we won't get to hang out again for a year. And at 23, a year is an eternity moving with the urgency of an incontinent octagenarian. D, H, K, 207...I want to share smiles in person again. That's all. I was reminded tonight as you all flited through my mind.

I'm hyper conscience of my stress level. I keep expecting it to spike, wondering if it is right now and I just won't realize it until I'm less stressed, questioning what's wrong if I don't feel stressed moreso than normal right now. I have to sell my house, find a new one (but where? what area of town? what if I can't find one right away, what do I do with my stuff? do I lease for a while?), finish an assignment, start a new position, entertain visiting family members, try to take vacation, pack, say my goodbyes and make them meaningful, send that email I've been meaning to the past 2 months that was going to tell everyone at the Moose how much the experience, and them, meant to me. Oh, and I'd like to sleep in, run outside, go swimming, and continue improving my health in general in the midst of all that. But I don't feel appreciably more stressed right now. I should, though, right?

A parents visit always throws my mind into a bit of reeling confusion about the emotions they illicit. I resent them for not being able to do anything fun like I see my friend's parents do, but then I feel guilty for feeling that way. I feel bad that we don't do much exciting, but feel helpless for not knowing what they want to do. I feel frustrated that they don't voice their opinions more and expect me to just entertain them. I'm still their daughter, I still expect them to take care of me. Maybe that's why it's so weird when they visit my house.

What's up with the prevelance of friends hooking up lately? And why, as a general rule, do girls always want to immediately be in a relationship with whoever they hook up with? Why are we so weak as a subset?

I think that's all for now. Oh, I love my car. A few days of not driving her always gives me that rush when I finally get back to her. She's just so pretty.