i want to just call mandy or danny and tell them everything - but there's nothing to tell. i hate being a girl! i absolutely hate it! why couldn't i have been born with a sac and 2 balls? then things would be easier, right? because boys don't have feelings or emotions or fucking hormones. aye yi yi.

i stare back at the pages that shape my recollection of my past. i wonder how i happened. i wonder where it started. i wonder when it will end. i remember sitting in my car, driving. driving. driving. running away. i long to find my physalia, and go. leave. search. find. l o s t. i'm everything you are.

what happens when words don't relieve anymore? where do i go next to calm the soul?

at least i got a kick ass parking spot tonight, and i fucking parallel parked that bitch! ha.