It didn't used to be like this

It used to be exciting, fun, exhilerating to go offshore. It gave my
life a sense of purpose and routine that I craved when I wasn't there.
It made me feel responsible to many someone elses. People would notice
when I wasn't there and I liked that. When I was home it wan't always
the same.

But now it's different. Is it because my friends are different? Or is
the job different? Or have my interests changed so dramatically, my
priorities have gotten all rearranged and what once made me happy is
now only passing time. I wish I could pinpoint what changed so I could
reinvigorate my enthusiasm, but I'm so close to being done anyway I
don't know that it matters. Or maybe I'm actually just scared of what
I think deep down the reason might be.