I'm sorry I didn't call when you got hurt. I'm sorry I expected something for Friday. I'm sorry I'm selfish. I'm sorry I don't let you sink into your depression and push the world away. I'm sorry. Maybe I don't want to have to be sorry any more. Maybe I want to be able to expect things, common niceties, maybe I want to ignore you for a while and be able to not think about what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I don't want to be with you anymore. Maybe all my fantasies of love are mired in ignorance, idiocity, and lies.

Maybe we're through, and maybe I won't cry about it because I'm sad, but because I'm scared that it's what I actually want this time.

I'm sorry.